I have had enough, Lord.
This was my heart’s cry one recent morning as I moved slowly along my prayer walk. So many loved ones were hurting, struggling, and sitting with hard stuff. The gray skies above echoed the weight of my prayers, signaling the storms that were to roll in later today.
My own week had been filled with frustrations and difficult moments. The mounting pressure from processing the COVID crises, preparing for back to school season, and juggling too many plates was catching up with me. From beneath the mound of laundry on the floor, rest and relief seemed far away, if not near impossible.
Yes, Lord, I have had enough. Please don’t ask me to face one more hardship this week. I am tired and weary of this journey.
Discouraged, I thought how different this week seemed from just a few weeks ago. Instead of hanging my head in frustration, I had been pounding my fist in the air to cheer on a friend, encouraging her to keep her commitment to a daily quiet time with the Lord. You can do it! Keep going! Don’t give up!
How could I be so confident in my faith one week and so beat down the next? My emotional fickleness was enough to give me whiplash.
Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep.1 Kings 19:3-5a
It was then that I came across Elijah’s story in my own quiet time. In it, the Lord patiently reminded me that although we may expect perfection in our faith journey, God knows better. He knows there will be seasons marked by boldness and seasons saved for strengthening. He knows when we can be entrusted as vessels of courage and He knows when we need to pause and feed our souls. Some days we are strong like Joshua, charging forward into the unknown knowing that God is already there. And some days we are Elijah, ready to give up.
All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again. The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. There he went into a cave and spent the night.1 Kings 19:5b-9a
In all of our days, we are called to rely on God for our strength, trusting that He will give us exactly what we need at exactly the right moment. After Elijah had rested and eaten as the angel of the Lord commanded him to do, he was strong enough to take the next steps of his journey. Likewise, God will strengthen us when we need it so that we can carry on, even when our journey seems too hard.
If you woke up today weary, worn-out, and overwhelmed, know that I am praying this over you today:
Lord, thank you for your patience as we learn to walk in your footsteps. Give us the courage to be bold and the wisdom to rest in and rely on you. I know that you will take care of all of our needs. We choose to rest today as an offering of worship, trusting that you are always in control. Thank you for taking care of us today and everyday. Amen.
I’m rooting for you, always.
Related: Letting the Plates Fall
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You haven’t a clue what I’m dealing with, but God does. I ask him to send me a mentor. He has sent several. As I sit knowing Jesus, knowing I’m saved yet feel I’ve failed him wallowing in my tears. Thank you for your teaching and your voice, love and understanding and how you explained everything.
My friend, Jesus sees, knows, and understands every one of your tears. He weeps with you and is holding your hand when you are ready to stand back up. Be tender with yourself. Jesus is for you. Sending you a giant hug.
Nicole Flora says
Heather your words of encouragement has lifted a lowly heart. It has been a real battle with fighting the good fight of faith. Your transparency has helped to keep hoping today. God bless you and thank you.
Thanks Nicole for your kind words. Yes, we all need to keep hoping. Hugs!
Hello Ms Dixon, I hope this message finds you well. I wanted to say thank you for writing this piece. My dad just made a video of me reciting for one of my aunts who is going through hard times. I have faith that your story will make her feel better. Many blessings and keep up the lord’s work. C.E.O